Embarrassed
by Wraith Ink-Slinger
Summary: Just pointless and slightly humerous and or embarrassing fluff about Tortall couples. Enjoy! Coupling so far: DaineNumair and KelNeal
1. Embarrassed Daine and Numair

A/N: set before Daine and Numair tell their friends about their relationship. Just a little humorous (or so I like to think) fluff.

**Embarrassed**

Daine smiled as she thought of the warm bath awaiting her. She undressed and sighed, readying to get into the steaming happiness beside her. She didn't notice that Numair entered the bathing room and didn't notice her. Quite suddenly, they noticed each other and Daine gave a shriek of surprise and dove behind the curtain, effectively knocking over the bathtub. Numair made a very un-Numair-like noise, somewhere between a gasp and a yelp and dashed out of the bathroom. Daine sighed as she gazed at the now empty tub and began to dress.

---

"Er... Hello, Daine." Numair stuttered, averting his eyes as his student and lover come for their lessons in the gardens.

"Numair, we're not going to do this, are we?"

"Do what?"

"You'll be embarrassed, I'll say I'll have none of it, and then your head, and more importantly your eyes, will be in the wrong place, I'll get mad, you'll apologize, and we'll make up in a fashion involving a fair amount of kissing."

"It doesn't sound too terrible."

"I just thought we might skip it and go right to the last bit."

"Did I mention how much I love you?" Numair kissed her gently.

"Only 100 times today." Daine wrapped her arms around his neck and laced her fingers through his hair.

"Only? We'll have to remedy that." He kissed her with a little more force, arms sliding into place around her waist.

Their kisses went on until Daine pulled back and positioned herself on Numair's lap so that she could lean against his chest while he leaned against the trunk of the tree they were under. "What did you think today?" Daine asked innocently.

"Daine! Er..."

"It's not a trick question, just answer."

"I thought you looked magnificent." He whispered, making her shiver agreeably.

"Are you sure you don't need a second opinion?" She whispered back.

"Now that you mention it..."

Numair began to slide his hands up Daine's shirt as she leaned in to kiss him when they heard a distinctly feminine 'AHEM'behind them. They turned to face a wide-eyed Onua. "Did I miss something?" She asked.

"Er..." Numair's hands quickly slid out where they belonged as Daine got up off his lap.

Both were very red in the face. "I, er, suppose there's an explanation due here... I haven't got one. Daine?"

"All I can say is that I'm far more embarrassed now than I was earlier today."

Numair chuckled a little and Onua laughed. "If it leaves the great and wordy Numair speechless, I'll settle for it. Though next time I suggest you find a tree that is hidden away from the rest of the garden." Onua said, gesturing towards the small crowd of gardeners and court members that had gathered silently.

"Right, now I'm embarrassed." Daine said quietly.


	2. Armor Polish Kel and Neal

Armor Polish

A/N: Hello, all! I had a sudden burst of inspiration for other embarrassing Tortall character fics so I turned this one-shot about Daine and Numair into a series of one-shots about anyone I feel like writing about. Be prepared to be embarrassed!

Anyway, this is a story about Kel and Neal (yes, I know they're not canon and I'm usually the first to jump on the canon-band-wagon but I just like this couple so darn much!)… as I was saying, this is about Kel and Neal and their quest for armor polish… in a broom closet… all alone… get it?

Kel entered the mess hall and sat down next to her best friend, Nealan of Queenscove, attempting to act nonchalant. The sensible part of her was telling her that no one would think anything of her sitting next to Neal, they were good friends and they were always sitting together. The irrational part of Kel, the part that had talked her into this mess, argued that they would be found out for even talking to each other. Kel could almost hear her sensible side sigh. "Hello, Neal." She said blandly.

"Hmm?" Neal did not appear to have noticed that she sat down next to him, "Oh! Hello… Kel." Neal sounded almost stiff.

The two stared at each other blankly, the silence was thick and tense. "What's with you two? You're acting weird." Their friend, Merric of Hollyrose, asked, breaking the silence.

Both Kel and Neal jumped. All of their friends were staring at them, they noticed. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong. I'm done eating, I'm going to go, erm, study." Neal said hurriedly as he swept his tray away and left the mess hall.

"You didn't even badger him about eating his vegetables." One of Kel's friends said, though she didn't pay attention to whom.

"I need to go polish some things, weapons and armor, things like that." Kel said distractedly, glad not for the first time for her years on the Yamani Islands.

She stood up and left the mess hall, leaving her friends to marvel at her and Neal's strange behavior.



Kel walked down hallways, heading not to her room, but to Neal's. She thought as she walked. _I still can't believe we're pulling this off. Maybe everyone knows but is turning a blind eye. But that's ridiculous! No one would lose a chance to tease and torment me or Neal for that matter… _As Kel turned a corner someone walked out in front of her. She failed to stop in time and ran right into them, knocking them both to the ground. Kel stood up apologizing. "I'm so sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. Let me give you a hand." Kel offered her hand to whomever she had bumped into and realized it was Neal. "What are you doing? Don't just go walking out in front of people! And you're supposed to be in your room." Kel said pulling him to his feet.

"What happened to being sorry?" Neal asked, resting an arm around her shoulders.

Kel stiffened under his touch until he assured her there was no one around. Then she relaxed and glared up at him. "What happened to meeting in your room?" She asked.

"I thought we could walk back together," Neal said innocently, then continued on in a more dramatic tone, "And I simply couldn't wait another second for you. I had to have you in my arms, to feel your lips on mine!"

Kel chuckled. "Be quiet, meathead, do you want someone to hear you?"

Neal looked around the hall they were in. "No one here." He said, pulling Kel closer.

"There _are_ people in the rooms we're walking by." Kel reminded him.

"Well, there's no one in here." Neal said, pulling open a door as they walked by it.

Kel looked in to the room. "You must be joking." It was a broom closet.

Neal moved closer to her and pulled her into a soft passionate kiss. Kel's skin tingled pleasantly as she shut the door behind them. Once in the closet, kisses continued with more… passion. Kel felt her back pushed up against something with a considerable thud. Suddenly, whatever they were leaning against came away and Kel and Neal fell out into the open and onto the floor. Caught off guard, neither had anytime to brace themselves and while Kel fell flat on the floor, Neal landed flat on Kel, winding her. As Neal tried to get up off of Kel and Kel tried to breath, a familiar voice asked, "What in the world were you two doing?" It was Owen.

"Armor… polish." Kel managed to wheeze.

"We were looking for armor polish!" Neal confirmed, red in the face.



"Yes, we were looking for armor polish." Kel agreed when she'd gotten her breath back.

Owen helped Kel to her feet, looking puzzled. Kel and Neal traded looks. They had been found out. Owen looked from Kel to Neal and back again. Both were red in the face and disheveled. "Why are you two both red?"

Kel knew it was because of embarrassment but she threw together another excuse. "It's hot in there." She said rather lamely, Neal nodded.

"Then why was the door closed?" Owen asked, still puzzled.

"Um… someone shut it behind us." Neal said, though it sounded like he didn't believe it himself.

"I heard a thud on the door, that's why I opened it. What happened?"

"It got stuck. We were trying to open it." Kel said, relieved that they were talking to the most gullible of her friends. "What were you doing down here?"

"I was heading to Neal's room to study with him. I guess we can all head over together." Owen said as he turned to head back down the hall.

"Just a minute, Owen, I never got any polish." Kel said.

"Alright." Owen turned around to see that the hallway was empty. "Did you get stuck in the closet again or something?"

Owen reached for the doorknob to open it and a sudden odd sensation came over him. What was he doing again? Perhaps he had been on his way to the library. Owen turned and headed to the large palace library, never turning back to the broom closet. However, anyone with Sight would have been able to see the aura of green-tinted magic around the handle…

A/N: So? Just pointless and mildly embarrassing fluff. Hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Kitty Love Daine and Numair

Kitty Love

A/N: Hello! This, the short third installment of Embarrassed, is a chapter about Daine and Numair. Numair finishes one of his experiments and is in the mood to spend some time with his lover…

"Daine? Love? I finished my experiment. I wanted to talk to you." The mage Numair called through the small apartment-like dorm they shared at the palace.

Daine did not answer. Numair came into the main room of the apartment to find Kitten the dragonet and a brown tabby cat. "Daine? Is that you? I wanted to talk to you." The cat looked up at Numair with lamp-like eyes. "Kitten, can I talk to Daine? Alone." Numair asked the dragonet, knowing full well she could understand him.

Kitten trilled and shook her head. "Go on, go away for a little while." Numair said gesturing towards the door as he sat down on the couch.

Kitten squeaked angrily at Numair and pulled that cat away from Numair. "Don't be selfish, you've spent all day with her. Daine, please tell her to go." Numair said looking at the cat in Kitten's arms.

The cat only stared back at Numair. "Daine? Okay, I'll get her to go myself." Numair said standing up.

He managed to get Kitten up off the couch and pushed her towards the door. Kitten shrieked indignantly and snapped at Numair. When Numair pulled his hands away, Kitten stalked out of the apartment, grumbling as the door slammed shut behind her. "There. Now we can be alone." Numair sat down on the couch and pulled the tabby into his lap. "I finished my experiment and I thought we could spend some quality time together. We could go out to dinner and then come back here and go to bed early."

The cat in his lap only looked up at him. "No? I have a bottle of wine around here somewhere… a toast to us?" The cat still simply looked at him. "Well, I'm trying! What if you just change back now and tell me what you'd like to do… we are on the couch, but I don't suppose it matters where we are, does it?" Numair stoked the cat, and she purred, smiling a cat smile up at him.

Suddenly, Daine walked through the front door, much to Numair's surprise. "Why was Kitten outside and why's she so mad?" Daine asked.



Numair could only look from Daine to the cat and back again making strangled noises. "Are you alright? Oh, I see Trina's made herself at home." Daine said, gesturing towards the tabby in Numair's lap.

"Trina?" Numair managed.

"Yes, a palace cat, she has a nasty bite from a rat." Daine said, coming over and picking Trina up. "She seems to like you." Daine looked at the cat and then suddenly looked rather puzzled. "She asked me to tell you that you're nice enough as humans go, but she's not interested. What's she talking about?" Daine asked, looking up at Numair.

Daine was surprised to see that Numair was red as beet. "What's the matter?" She asked, concerned.

"Hot… I have… experiment… um… right." Numair leaped off the couch and dashed into his work room.

Daine looked down at Kitten with a questioning look and Kitten made a noise that could only be interpreted as a giggle. "What in the world did I miss?" She asked.

A/N: lol, okay, you had to see that coming! Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Warrior Wives DN RB KN

Warrior Wives

A/N: Hello all! This isn't exactly fluffy, but it's still rather funny. This is a Daine/Numair Raoul/Buri Kel/Neal story.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story or anything to do with Tamora Pierce.

"Numair, I'm going to get something to drink, would you like any?" Daine asked, getting up from her chair.

"Oh, no, love. Let me get it." Numair said as he gently settling Daine back into her chair and headed over to the table holding refreshments.

Raoul hid smirk behind his hand as his newly-married friends got up. Buri eyed Raoul with a mischievous look before speaking. "Dearest, would you mind getting me something to drink as well?" Buri asked her husband sweetly.

"Well, Numair is getting drinks." Raoul said.

"Yes, dear, but Numair only has two hands." Buri said firmly.

Raoul eyed his wife and decided that there was no way out of his assignment. He stood up, defeated and headed after Numair as Buri and Daine giggled quietly. When the two men reached the table that held refreshments they found Neal there, leaning against the table and smirking superiorly. "What are you looking at, Queenscove?" Raoul growled as he filled two cups with cider.

"Oh, I was just thinking of something absolutely hilarious." Neal said, still smirking.

"And that wouldn't have anything to do with us would it?" Numair asked, also filling glasses with cider.

"As a matter of fact, it does. I was just thinking how funny it was that two of the most powerful men it Tortall are at the beck and call of their warrior wives." Neal drawled.

"You're one to talk. You married Kel." Raoul pointed out.

"Yes, but my lady doesn't have me whipped like you two." Neal said, the smirk never leaving its place.

"We aren't whipped, we simply enjoy doing things for our women. Don't you ever do anything for Kel?" Numair replied.

"Of course I do, but I do it of my own free will. Unlike the two of you '_Dearest, would you mind getting me something to drink?_''" Neal made his voice high-pitched and breathy.

"Sorry, my hands are full. You'll have to get your own." Raoul said to Neal.



Neal scowled. "Still, it's nice to know who wears the pants in your relationship, isn't it?"

Numair and Raoul suddenly got odd looks on their faces. They looked like they were fighting hard to hold back laughter. "What?" Neal asked confused, "What's so funny?"

"Speaking of warrior wives…" Numair managed to say.

Neal turned around to find that his own wife was standing behind him. "Oh! Hello, love." Neal said quickly.

"Hello, Numair, Raoul. Neal, didn't you say you were going to get something for us to drink?" Kel asked.

"Yes, love, right here. I was just talking to my friends." Neal sounded almost like a naughty child caught in the act.

"Alright, but you've left off in the middle of your conversation with Harailt. Come on." Kel told him, leaving no room for argument.

"Of course." Neal said picking up two cups of cider and following Kel, glaring back over his shoulder as Numair and Raoul began to snicker.

Their laughing ended abruptly however. "Raoul? Where'd you go?" Buri called.

"Numair, were you coming back?" Diane called after Buri.

With a jump the two men headed back to their wives, careful not to spill any cider.

A/N: lol, okay, this one made me laugh… I hope you guys enjoyed it too.


	5. Girl Talk Daine and Numair

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tamora Peirce's stories or characters, but I DO own the dress.

Author's Note: Hullo! I'm not sure if this one will be embarrassing as some of the others, but it is a little embarrassing, so I figured I'd stick it in here. See, I had a dress that I was going to wear to the Home Coming dance but I bought a new one, but I LOVE the dress I was going to wear, so I decided to write it into this story… kind of a lame reason for writing a story but, then, who cares? Any who, enjoy!

A little Girl Time

Daine sighed as she looked at the dress on her bed. She wasn't really in the mood for a ball. There were better things she could be doing. She began to strip down and pulled the dress on over her head. She looked in the mirror. It wasn't a bad dress, as dresses went. It was a simple dress; light blue and long-sleeved with a low back and a v-neck cut and an a-line skirt that just swept the floor. It accentuated her curves nicely. She didn't want anything fancy and this certainly fit the bill. She had simply gone down to the seamstress and asked for a dress in her size, she had barely looked at it, just so long as it was plain. As she pulled a brush through her hair and swept it up on her head a knock came on her door. She slipped on her high-heeled shoes (the biggest pain of all, in her opinion) and went to the door. When she opened it, she saw Alanna and Thayet standing outside her door. "Oh, hello." Daine said, slightly surprised, "Is… there something you need?"

"We came to help you get ready." Thayet said.

"Oh." Daine said tightly, "Don't you have more important things to do?"

"No. We're both ready. The ball doesn't start for another two hours." Alanna replied.

"Well as you can see, I'm ready and I don't need help. But thank you." Daine said turning back to her room.

"You call that ready? I masqueraded as a boy for 8 years and even I know you can do better!" Alanna retorted.

She was right. Alanna wore face paint in earth tones. Subtle though it was, it looked lovely on her. Her shoulder-length red hair was pulled back and curled slightly. Thayet wore face paint as well, in dark shades that nicely accented her features and her dark hair which was gracefully swept up on the top of her head. Daine sighed. "I'm not wearing face paint." She said.

Alanna and Thayet took that as the best invitation into the room they would get and stepped inside. Only now did Daine notice the boxes and parcels they held. "Oh, no! Oh, no you don't! I am not letting you put any of that on me! Why are you taking this sudden interest in me anyway?"



"This is your first ball with a lover. With Numair, that is." Thayet told her, "We decided you ought to look nice."

"Well I don't want any part of this. Numair thought I looked perfectly pretty without baubles and bangles and face paint and I don't need it now."

"All men like it when you dress up for them. Of course they think you're lovely without all of the extra bits, but you should see their reaction when you dress up." Alanna said.

This was true, though Daine hated to admit it. Numair had always looked at her as if she were some wonderful lady when she dressed up, rather than just the plain Daine she liked to be. Daine sighed. "Are you really going to make me do this?"

"At least look the stuff over." Thayet said reasonably.

"All right, I give up. Let me see."

Daine sat on her bed between the queen and the lady knight as they began to unpack what they had brought with them. Thayet opened a box and began to go through its contents. This is the face paint we brought for you. It's all very light and subtle, nothing outrageous. She pulled out all kinds of colored tubes and containers, brushes of all sizes, and a charcoal pencil. "What in the world do we need all of this stuff for?" Daine asked picking through the things littered on her bed.

"This is powder to go over your eyes, lip paint, eye pencil, powder to give you color, cream to make your skin one tone, and paint and a brush for your eyelashes." Thayet said, as she named various tubes and containers.

"That's just downright scary." Daine said, looking at the long brush meant for her eyelashes.

"It's not as scary as it looks." Alanna reassured her. "Now, I have some perfume for you, which I don't use very often personally, but we brought some for you anyway." Alanna pulled out a few bottles of liquid.

"I don't see why women would want perfume, though. If you're worried about how you smell, just take a bath." Daine said.

"Well, don't animals give off scents when they're trying to attract a mate?" Thayet asked.

"Yes, but I'm not an animal at the moment and I'm not trying to attract a mate. I already have a mate… I mean…"

"No, you're right. You already have a 'mate.' Even though you're not trying to attract one, wouldn't you like to please yours?" Thayet asked.



Daine blushed. "Numair…" Daine mumbled on incoherently.

"What?" Alanna asked, leaning closer.

"Numair… says I smell wonderful all the time." Diane said, blushing.

Both other women bit back smiles. "Still, there's nothing wrong with perfume. Just give it a try." Thayet said.

"I don't see what's so funny about it. Certainly Baron George seems to think you smell alright." Daine said turning on Alanna.

Now Alanna blushed slightly, knowing her husband wasn't opposed to public displays of affection. "Yes, he does, but I still wear perfume sometimes and he likes that just as much. Numair seemed to like women who wore perfume well enough before he met you."

Daine feigned offense. "Fine. If that's the way you want to be. Just give me the weakest one." She said more quietly towards the end.

"Lastly, we have a dress." Thayet said.

"But I have a dress. I'm wearing it." Daine said.

"We have one that fits better." Alanna told her.

"This one doesn't fit well?" Daine asked.

"Not as well as it could."

Thayet pulled out a parcel and ripped it open. "This one is perfect for you."

Daine took the dress and inspected it. "It doesn't look all that special." She said critically.

"Try it on." Thayet urged.

So Daine tried it on and looked in her mirror. She gaped at the reflection. Alanna and Thayet both looked impressed. "It's _perfect_." They all said.

Indeed it was. It was a dusty purple color that brought out the gray in her eyes, with black glitter swirls and roses patterned all over it. It had a scoop neck that didn't go too low, but showed a fair amount of skin with half-sleeves and a skirt that dropped just below her knees, showing off her smooth calves. It clung to her figure perfectly. In the black high-heeled shoes she looked absolutely perfect. "So, are you willing to let us dress you up?" Thayet asked.

"Goddess, I'll do anything you like if you just let me keep this dress!" Daine said.



Alanna and Thayet laughed as they went to work. "So… your _mate_?" Thayet asked after they'd been working on Daine for a bit.

Daine blushed under all the paint they had applied to her. "It was just the wording…" She said quietly.

"But for animals aren't mates those they… mate with?"

Daine blushed even deeper. "Not always. It's just a partner. It could as easily be a husband or wife."

Alanna sighed from behind, where she was working on her hair. "What Thayet is beating around is… have you and Numair…?" Alanna trailed off.

"Ah! No!" Daine shouted, appalled at the way this conversation was going.

"Don't move! And it's alright if you have. You're not in Snowsdale anymore. People don't talk as much here." Thayet said, pulling Daine back toward her.

"I know that!" Daine said offensively. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"So you haven't." Alanna said.

"No… you don't have to worry about me. Numair is very honorable." Daine couldn't help keep some slight disappointment from her voice.

"It gets annoying, doesn't it?" Alanna asked her.

"I wouldn't mind if he was… well, a little less honorable."

"All of this will take care of that problem." Thayet told her with a smile.

"You mean to tell me that you're only dressing up so Numair will want to bed me??" Daine blurted it out without really meaning to.

"NO!" Both women shouted back, blushing.

"We just thought it would be nice for you to dress up now and then." Thayet told her.

"Oh…" Daine blushed.

All three sat in silence, still blushing slightly, before one of them finally spoke. "I suppose it _would_ be a perk, though, wouldn't it?" Alanna asked mischievously.

Thayet glared over Daine's shoulder as Daine herself blushed deeper and all three were silent once more. At last they finished and brought Daine to the mirror. "Goddess. Is that really me?" Daine asked, awed. She looked like a court lady.



"IF your accusation WAS really our plan all along, and I'm not saying it was," Alanna said defensively, "It would certainly work."

Daine couldn't help but giggle. "Thank you. I don't think I'll want to do this again anytime soon, but thank you anyway."

"That reminds me. I made this for you, though I wasn't sure if you'd need it or not." Alanna reached into a satchel that had been full of jewelry and fished out a thin gold chain and dropped in Daine's hand.

Daine held it up to the light. It was a simple necklace, strung with a few beads and charms. "Um… thank you?"

"It's a pregnancy charm." Alanna told her happily.

Daine wanted to die.

--

Thayet and Alanna walked Daine out into the main room of the apartment at the palace she and Numair shared. Numair was waiting there for her. "Mithros, Minos and Shakith." He whispered as she walked out.

Daine waited for him to say more, but he seemed to be incapable of saying much else. "Do you like it?" She asked quietly, smoothing her skirt out.

"You're beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You're wearing face paint too."

"They talked me into it." Daine turned around to see that Alanna and Thayet had slipped out. "Well, they were…"

She was suddenly silenced as she learned just how much her lover really liked her new look.

--

The next morning found Daine out in the stables, talking to Cloud. Alanna walked up quietly behind her. "Hello, Alanna." Daine said placidly.

"Damn. How can you always tell?"

"Animalistic senses come in handy."

"You seem to be in a good mood."

"Yep. Numair liked my outfit. I wanted to thank you."



"I suppose he liked so much you just decided not to go to the ball after all our hard work, hm?"

"Sorry. I took it off."

"Goddess, why?? It took an hour!"

"I decided to go to bed early."

"But I thought Numair _liked_… OH! Well… uh, good for you."

Daine blushed. "Er… thank you."

The two women were silent for a time. "So, that pregnancy charm lasts for 50 uses, and it'll warn you when it's about to go out. I'm sure you'll need another one soon."

Daine blushed furiously. "ALANNA!" The shorter woman had already dashed out of the stable laughing hard.

A/N: Yeah… that was reeeally long. A lot longer than I originally thought. Hmm… Oh well. Long and silly and a puff of fluff at the end. Those're the best. Enjoy!


End file.
